So, What happens when you die?
WARNING: The following story may contain some things that are not for the squeamish (had to do a spell check on that one) as it will discuss death, different ways of burial, and…and…stuff like that, but hey, we’re all adults here rigth!?
Also note, this is not meant to offend anyone, or make light of the subject, if you do get offended, in all sincerity, I apologize and want you to know that was not my intention.
I know, I know, it’s the age old question, a very important one for sure, but none the less, the age old question, “What happens when you die?” Most of you know where I stand on the subject of death, and what happens after (spiritually speaking), but let’s look at it from a non-spiritual standpoint for a moment, let’s look at it from the point of view of …What happens to and with my family when I finally breathe my last breath and are no longer here? When I’m finally home and in the presence of Jesus and my Heavenly Father?…Oops, sorry.
The main reason I’m writing this today is simply share with you an experience that Cece and I had this past Saturday. I know that many of you have gone through this experience, or a similar one, but we never have and I though it was noteworthy. In light of the passing of my Dad in October and a good friend and brother in Christ in November, Cece and I felt that we really needed to think and act on such things as our final Arrangements. Now again, my final (final) arrangements were decided and planned way before this past Saturday.
So we called up our friendly neighborhood funeral home, and for anonymity sake, we’ll call it the XYZ Funeral Home. It’s a nice place and as long as we’re speaking in anonymous language, you may know the place, it’s at the corner of ABC Street, right there where ABC and 123 streets cross. Well anyway we had an appointment this past Saturday with a Mrs. Jane Smith (not really her name, but you probably knew that huh!). She us invited into this very elegant room with dark wood furniture, and we noticed it was sooo quiet, almost too quiet, ya know? We were greeted and seated and asked if we would like a cup of coffee, ummm…I gotta tells ya, I did hesitate for a second when she asked about the coffee, but I figured if I had the caffeinated I’d be okay, I had always heard that decafe was made with…aw never mind! We accepted the offer and she began the process of her fact finding journey into what our wishes were for the main event. As she asked the questions, it caused me to think to myself (as I’m sure Cece too), “What does this all look like on that day?” and “What will it be like to those we leave behind on that day, primarily our kids?” All we could think about was the expression on my dad’s wife’s face as we sat with her in a similar room at a similar funeral home in Reno, Nevada back in October, she was expressionless, dazed, present physically but not really there, ya know!? That is what prompted us to sit down with Jane that day, I couldn’t even imagine Cece sitting in that chair, and in that state (and no, I don’t mean Nevada!)
Fortunately for Lina (my step mom), she and my dad back in 1984 signed up for something called the Neptune Society, at that time they pre-paid for all their final arrangements. Cece and I were able to be with Lina during the hard time after my dad died, and in fact helping Lina with some things that still needed to be handled went relatively smooth, surprisingly where we had the most trouble was with the Veterans Administration, Man! I’ll tell ya, my eyes were opened to reality when it came to what a vet is entitled to after death (actually what his dependent is entitled to) my dad served 28 years, giving his best years to the United States Navy, and what he got, or what Lina got, amounted to squat! That’s a whole different story, Oh Yeah! She was given a flag! Whoop dee doo!!!
Anyway, so there we are sitting across the desk from Mrs. Smith, who by the way was a very nice and very professional gal. We told Jane right up front what we wanted, and what we’ve wanted for some time as Cece and I have discussed it in the past. When all was said and done, when the checks were signed, and we were sent home with copies, and our packet of more information, but above that, when we were sent home with the assurance that everything would be taken care of. The only things that we would need to do now is to choose who we want to officiate, what songs we want sung, and where everyone will get together for potato salad after the service.
As I looked further through the packet we were given, and as I began to ponder all that had taken place on Saturday, I came across some definitions I thought I might share with you. I found these definitions in a little booklet titled the “Consumer Guide to Funeral & Cemetery Purchases”.
Casket/Coffin – A box or chest for burying human remains.
Cremation – Exposing human remains and the container holding them to extreme heat and flame and processing the resulting bone fragments to a uniform size and consistency.
Grave - A space in the ground in a cemetery for the burial of human remains.
Funeral Service vs. Memorial Service – The only difference is either the body is there (Funeral) or it’s not (Memorial). [my own definition].
I was glad that I found these definitions as it took the mystery out of what I thought or imagined in the past about them. I was raised with a lot of TV in my life, and some were scary things like “Creature Features”, “The Outer Limits” and “Tales From The Crypt”, but these definitions put into light what and how things really are. I’ve had many extended family members die, and have been involved in some of their funeral services, but never to this extent, never through this door. Let me give you and idea of what it could cost to die these days (actually what it could cost someone after you die);
Did you know you could spend from as little as $800 and on up to $36,000 for a casket? 36,000 bucks? Well of course that is the crème de la crème, it’s the “Z94 model”, the “Promethean 48oz Bronze casket with interior colors of Green, Red, Blue, or Beige Velvet”. Now remember, according to the definition above, a casket is just “a box or chest for burying human remains.” Man! for $36,000 I could buy that truck I’ve been wanting. Cece and I pondered this after we left, can you imagine spending thousands of dollars on casket, then putting it in a hole in the ground, or “a space in the ground”, and then having a backhoe cover it up with dirt?
Or even worse, spending all that money and having them incinerate it….on purpose?
Good news though, you can also rent a casket; but be aware, they’ve specified in their literature that there is only “one available” though. For only $1295.00, they’ll put you on a waiting list of “availability” for this one casket, Ya know, I’m almost certain it’s not the Z94 Model!? Cece & I went with what they call the “Alternative Container”, basically a hard plastic box about the size of a brick, and that only ran us $125.00. Oh by the way, we’re on the 3 year plan, so “our out the door” (so to speak) came to about $4000 for the both of us.
I would think if you were gonna have one of these containers incinerated; you’d wanna go with one of the “Wood Selections”. They’ve got a “Masterpiece Mahogany” model, with the “Dark Exterior” and the “Rose Tan Velvet” interior; which you can pick up for a mere $23000…Yikes!
Pretty amazing huh! Now again, if I’ve offended anyone, please forgive me, that is not my intention, I’m just say’n, for me, I would much prefer to have a celebration at the church, maybe a nice little slide show, and that definitely before people leave the church that day, they will know exactly where I really am, and exactly how they can get there. I know that none of my kids will need a place to go to talk with me, they can just look up and say “Hey Dad!” They won’t need to worry whether my final resting place is being kept up, or if it’s been mowed, or if 20 years from now it’s turned into a parking lot. They won’t have to hassle with getting out there for Father’s Day, my Birthday, Easter and Christmas, ‘cause I won’t be there. I would like my ashes to be scattered in the mountains, or maybe by the sea shore, although even though I was born in Santa Cruz, I’ve never really been fond of the beach, especially picnics on the beach, ask my wife, she’ll tell ya.
I know that some have a problem with cremation and scattering of ashes, I’m not sure I understand what that problem is, if God is the creator of the universe (and He is), and if he can change the direction of the flow of rivers, and knows every hair on your and my head, and if He were able to find me while I was alive, even in the mists of billions of people, He will surely be able to find me later too.
So back to Saturday, XYZ and Jane, one thing we were very definite on was that we wanted these old suitcases of ours, or as a pastor my wife once knew used to say, “our earth suits” to be cremated, no body to view, no casket, and no mourners, which by the way I didn’t see on their price sheet anyway. We were pretty definite about what we wanted, and we didn’t want any mistakes! You know this reminds me of something funny Cece said the other day, she and I were talking once again about when the time comes and if we find ourselves in the hospital, unconscious, and it’s looking like there is no hope, do we want to be revived? Will we have a DNR (“Do Not Resuscitate”) on file? We agreed that we would both want a DNR, in fact she said, “if I ever even consider getting any tattoo on my body it’s gonna say in big letters, “DNR” right across my heart!” In other words, “Don’t keep me here and don’t call me back, ‘cause I’m goin’ home!” and I agree with her, and Amen to that!
So what is the point to this writing? Again, I think the main thing is just to share with you my experience from Saturday, the experience of talking about and dealing with the final arrangements of my life here on earth. It was amazing, at one point as we were signing the contracts, after going through them line by line of what the process would be with this old shell of ours, I said out loud, “Hey! I’m get’n excited!” There was a bit of a chuckle from Cece, and no real response from Jane, but I got excited as I thought “Hey! We’re not talking necessarily about what these technicians are gonna do with my “earth suit” when there’s no more breath in it, ‘cause when they’re doing whatever it is they do, and when they finally turn out the light, and punch the time clock at the end of the day to go their homes, I will have already been home with Jesus and my Heavenly Father. I will have already begun to see all those that have gone on before me, from my grandma Fia to my cousin Paul, and from my “Daddy Don” to my brother Jim.”
Now that’s something to get excited about!!!
Let me ask you the initial question: So, What happens when you die?
WARNING: The following story may contain some things that are not for the squeamish (had to do a spell check on that one) as it will discuss death, different ways of burial, and…and…stuff like that, but hey, we’re all adults here rigth!?
Also note, this is not meant to offend anyone, or make light of the subject, if you do get offended, in all sincerity, I apologize and want you to know that was not my intention.
I know, I know, it’s the age old question, a very important one for sure, but none the less, the age old question, “What happens when you die?” Most of you know where I stand on the subject of death, and what happens after (spiritually speaking), but let’s look at it from a non-spiritual standpoint for a moment, let’s look at it from the point of view of …What happens to and with my family when I finally breathe my last breath and are no longer here? When I’m finally home and in the presence of Jesus and my Heavenly Father?…Oops, sorry.
The main reason I’m writing this today is simply share with you an experience that Cece and I had this past Saturday. I know that many of you have gone through this experience, or a similar one, but we never have and I though it was noteworthy. In light of the passing of my Dad in October and a good friend and brother in Christ in November, Cece and I felt that we really needed to think and act on such things as our final Arrangements. Now again, my final (final) arrangements were decided and planned way before this past Saturday.
So we called up our friendly neighborhood funeral home, and for anonymity sake, we’ll call it the XYZ Funeral Home. It’s a nice place and as long as we’re speaking in anonymous language, you may know the place, it’s at the corner of ABC Street, right there where ABC and 123 streets cross. Well anyway we had an appointment this past Saturday with a Mrs. Jane Smith (not really her name, but you probably knew that huh!). She us invited into this very elegant room with dark wood furniture, and we noticed it was sooo quiet, almost too quiet, ya know? We were greeted and seated and asked if we would like a cup of coffee, ummm…I gotta tells ya, I did hesitate for a second when she asked about the coffee, but I figured if I had the caffeinated I’d be okay, I had always heard that decafe was made with…aw never mind! We accepted the offer and she began the process of her fact finding journey into what our wishes were for the main event. As she asked the questions, it caused me to think to myself (as I’m sure Cece too), “What does this all look like on that day?” and “What will it be like to those we leave behind on that day, primarily our kids?” All we could think about was the expression on my dad’s wife’s face as we sat with her in a similar room at a similar funeral home in Reno, Nevada back in October, she was expressionless, dazed, present physically but not really there, ya know!? That is what prompted us to sit down with Jane that day, I couldn’t even imagine Cece sitting in that chair, and in that state (and no, I don’t mean Nevada!)
Fortunately for Lina (my step mom), she and my dad back in 1984 signed up for something called the Neptune Society, at that time they pre-paid for all their final arrangements. Cece and I were able to be with Lina during the hard time after my dad died, and in fact helping Lina with some things that still needed to be handled went relatively smooth, surprisingly where we had the most trouble was with the Veterans Administration, Man! I’ll tell ya, my eyes were opened to reality when it came to what a vet is entitled to after death (actually what his dependent is entitled to) my dad served 28 years, giving his best years to the United States Navy, and what he got, or what Lina got, amounted to squat! That’s a whole different story, Oh Yeah! She was given a flag! Whoop dee doo!!!
Anyway, so there we are sitting across the desk from Mrs. Smith, who by the way was a very nice and very professional gal. We told Jane right up front what we wanted, and what we’ve wanted for some time as Cece and I have discussed it in the past. When all was said and done, when the checks were signed, and we were sent home with copies, and our packet of more information, but above that, when we were sent home with the assurance that everything would be taken care of. The only things that we would need to do now is to choose who we want to officiate, what songs we want sung, and where everyone will get together for potato salad after the service.
As I looked further through the packet we were given, and as I began to ponder all that had taken place on Saturday, I came across some definitions I thought I might share with you. I found these definitions in a little booklet titled the “Consumer Guide to Funeral & Cemetery Purchases”.
Casket/Coffin – A box or chest for burying human remains.
Cremation – Exposing human remains and the container holding them to extreme heat and flame and processing the resulting bone fragments to a uniform size and consistency.
Grave - A space in the ground in a cemetery for the burial of human remains.
Funeral Service vs. Memorial Service – The only difference is either the body is there (Funeral) or it’s not (Memorial). [my own definition].
I was glad that I found these definitions as it took the mystery out of what I thought or imagined in the past about them. I was raised with a lot of TV in my life, and some were scary things like “Creature Features”, “The Outer Limits” and “Tales From The Crypt”, but these definitions put into light what and how things really are. I’ve had many extended family members die, and have been involved in some of their funeral services, but never to this extent, never through this door. Let me give you and idea of what it could cost to die these days (actually what it could cost someone after you die);
Did you know you could spend from as little as $800 and on up to $36,000 for a casket? 36,000 bucks? Well of course that is the crème de la crème, it’s the “Z94 model”, the “Promethean 48oz Bronze casket with interior colors of Green, Red, Blue, or Beige Velvet”. Now remember, according to the definition above, a casket is just “a box or chest for burying human remains.” Man! for $36,000 I could buy that truck I’ve been wanting. Cece and I pondered this after we left, can you imagine spending thousands of dollars on casket, then putting it in a hole in the ground, or “a space in the ground”, and then having a backhoe cover it up with dirt?
Or even worse, spending all that money and having them incinerate it….on purpose?
Good news though, you can also rent a casket; but be aware, they’ve specified in their literature that there is only “one available” though. For only $1295.00, they’ll put you on a waiting list of “availability” for this one casket, Ya know, I’m almost certain it’s not the Z94 Model!? Cece & I went with what they call the “Alternative Container”, basically a hard plastic box about the size of a brick, and that only ran us $125.00. Oh by the way, we’re on the 3 year plan, so “our out the door” (so to speak) came to about $4000 for the both of us.
I would think if you were gonna have one of these containers incinerated; you’d wanna go with one of the “Wood Selections”. They’ve got a “Masterpiece Mahogany” model, with the “Dark Exterior” and the “Rose Tan Velvet” interior; which you can pick up for a mere $23000…Yikes!
Pretty amazing huh! Now again, if I’ve offended anyone, please forgive me, that is not my intention, I’m just say’n, for me, I would much prefer to have a celebration at the church, maybe a nice little slide show, and that definitely before people leave the church that day, they will know exactly where I really am, and exactly how they can get there. I know that none of my kids will need a place to go to talk with me, they can just look up and say “Hey Dad!” They won’t need to worry whether my final resting place is being kept up, or if it’s been mowed, or if 20 years from now it’s turned into a parking lot. They won’t have to hassle with getting out there for Father’s Day, my Birthday, Easter and Christmas, ‘cause I won’t be there. I would like my ashes to be scattered in the mountains, or maybe by the sea shore, although even though I was born in Santa Cruz, I’ve never really been fond of the beach, especially picnics on the beach, ask my wife, she’ll tell ya.
I know that some have a problem with cremation and scattering of ashes, I’m not sure I understand what that problem is, if God is the creator of the universe (and He is), and if he can change the direction of the flow of rivers, and knows every hair on your and my head, and if He were able to find me while I was alive, even in the mists of billions of people, He will surely be able to find me later too.
So back to Saturday, XYZ and Jane, one thing we were very definite on was that we wanted these old suitcases of ours, or as a pastor my wife once knew used to say, “our earth suits” to be cremated, no body to view, no casket, and no mourners, which by the way I didn’t see on their price sheet anyway. We were pretty definite about what we wanted, and we didn’t want any mistakes! You know this reminds me of something funny Cece said the other day, she and I were talking once again about when the time comes and if we find ourselves in the hospital, unconscious, and it’s looking like there is no hope, do we want to be revived? Will we have a DNR (“Do Not Resuscitate”) on file? We agreed that we would both want a DNR, in fact she said, “if I ever even consider getting any tattoo on my body it’s gonna say in big letters, “DNR” right across my heart!” In other words, “Don’t keep me here and don’t call me back, ‘cause I’m goin’ home!” and I agree with her, and Amen to that!
So what is the point to this writing? Again, I think the main thing is just to share with you my experience from Saturday, the experience of talking about and dealing with the final arrangements of my life here on earth. It was amazing, at one point as we were signing the contracts, after going through them line by line of what the process would be with this old shell of ours, I said out loud, “Hey! I’m get’n excited!” There was a bit of a chuckle from Cece, and no real response from Jane, but I got excited as I thought “Hey! We’re not talking necessarily about what these technicians are gonna do with my “earth suit” when there’s no more breath in it, ‘cause when they’re doing whatever it is they do, and when they finally turn out the light, and punch the time clock at the end of the day to go their homes, I will have already been home with Jesus and my Heavenly Father. I will have already begun to see all those that have gone on before me, from my grandma Fia to my cousin Paul, and from my “Daddy Don” to my brother Jim.”
Now that’s something to get excited about!!!
Let me ask you the initial question: So, What happens when you die?
posted by In His Grip at 8:15 AM
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